Hi Callie - we're now halfway through the Self Confidence Course.  You're showing you're serious about developing self confidence. In the long run, this sort of perseverance and courage to try something new is what truly builds solid confidence.

 ---- Missing a tutorial? http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/missing.html ----

 Now on with the course and Tutorial 4. Last week, you started to lay down a pattern within your mind for the way you want things to be.  This week we're going to take things a step further.  Firstly, read over what you have written in your course notes so far, just to get you in the swing of things.  Do this now before reading further, paying particular attention to your answers to the questions in Tutorial 1.

 ----------- Exercise ----------- 

Now you have read over your notes, get yourself comfortable and ready to do this week's exercise. Imagine you have been granted 3 wishes.  One of your wishes is to have the self confidence you want.  You go to bed tonight and during the night miraculously your wish is granted.  When you wake up in the morning, you have all the confidence you need. What is life like?  Close your eyes and really begin to explore this fantasy.  Imagine going to bed, doing your nighttime routine, switching off the lights, getting comfortable in bed and that lovely feeling as you begin to drift off… This is a fantastic way to use your imagination.  (After all, you probably use it to scare yourself enough - imagining things going wrong, why not use it to help yourself for a change?) In your fantasy, answer the following questions:

 1) How do you feel when you get up in the morning? 

2) What do you look like in those situations that used to be a problem? 

3) How do you sound? 

4) What is your facial expression like? 

5) What do others notice about you that is different? 

6) How do you think about those things that used to be a problem? 

7) What do you do during your day that you didn't before? 

8) Work at doing this exercise.  The more detail you include the better.  This could be the most important 15 minutes you have ever spent. Afterwards, write in your notes the things you noticed about the newly confident you.  This will be very useful for future exercises.  Also, as I've already said, you MUST know where you're going if you're going to get there.  This exercise provides the target for your conscious and unconscious mind to move towards. Make the effort to do this exercise now - you'll be glad you did! ________________________TT__________________________ 

  Trainer Tip - Experience Your 'Miracle' The above exercise is best done when relaxed for 2 main reasons: 

1) Your imagination works better when you are relaxed (after all, think about dreaming - the most incredible imaginative process you can create!) 

2) When you are relaxed, you break out of habitual patterns of anxiety or under-confidence. This makes it much easier to see yourself performing well. Therefore, the best time to do the above exercise is after one of the hypnotic deep relaxation sessions on the CDs - Track 11, CD1, Track 1, CD2, or Track 4, CD2. ____________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------- 

Confidence Tip: Things You Can't Do ! 

---------------------------------------- 

This is a really common habit I've noticed people get into if they're feeling a bit down. You think of something other people can do and then feel bad because you can't do it too. Have you ever noticed yourself doing that? Of course it's natural to want to be able to compare favorably with others, but consider this:

 *There will ALWAYS be more things you can't do than things you can do*

 The World is huge, and possibilities are endless! So, by the law of averages, you are always more likely to be able to think of something you can't so than something you can. So don't let your mind play tricks on you! If you find yourself doing this, deliberately change the contents of your thoughts to things you *have* learnt to do in the past. This way, you will end up feeling more capable, better about yourself, and you're more likely to start tackling some of those things you'd like to be able to do!

________________________TT__________________________

Trainer Tip  - More On Thinking Confidently If you find that you frequently think in ways similar to the above, use Track 7 on CD1 'How to Think Confidently' and Track 9 'How confident people view the World - the keystone of confident thinking'.

 ____________________________________________________ -------------------QUOTE-------------------

 "It made a world of difference." Roger, your course was very helpful to me. I ordered the CDs when I started the course. I am trying to pass my state's court reporting exam. I have taken several tests and have always gotten extremely nervous and panicked. I received your CD a few weeks before the last exam.  It made a world of difference. This is the first test that I have taken that I was in control of my emotions.  I know it had to be because of your course because that is the only thing I did differently. Even if I didn't pass this exam, I now know how to relax so I know I will pass the next one. Thanks for a great program. Tamara, <anonymity requested>

-------------------UNQUOTE-------------------

 Next week we'll be doing Tutorial 5 - Consolidation of self confidence. Good luck! Roger Elliott http://www.self-confidence.co.uk --------------------------------------------------

To order the Self Confidence Trainer at your special subscriber rate: http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/offer1.htm -------------------------------------------------- -----------------

PANIC ATTACKS ----------------

- If you suffer from panic attacks, check out: http://www.panic-attacks.co.uk -------------------------------------------------

(C) Uncommon Knowledge Ltd 2004

Hi Callie, and welcome to Tutorial 3 of the Self Confidence Course. Let's get moving right away. Get your notes from last week about the people you consider confident. If you haven't done last week's exercise yet, do it now. Remember what Aristotle said - "Whatever we learn to do, we learn by doing it". And besides, once you get started, it's fun! Good self confidence will help you for the rest of your life in ways you could hardly imagine - isn't it worth spending some time on it now? -------------------- QUOTE --------------------

 "..my life has taken a new turn!" "Dear Roger Thank you very much for this free Self-Confidence Course! I am so happy that I clicked on your Web-Site. Already after the first tutorial, I knew that I was going to subscribe for the CD pack. Anyway, I waited until the fifth since I wanted to test the course a little more. Since then, my life has taken a new turn!  It's a step by step day to day process but I can already feel the difference. As a kid, I was taught to sit still and be quiet. I spent most of my childhood feeling unloved and even unwanted. Therefore, having confidence and self assurance has never been my strength. Listening to the CD is like listening to a very caring, understanding friend who just wants the best for me. Thanks again!" Best regards Veris Liebers, Cologne, Germany http://www.self-confidence.co.uk/offer3.htm

 -------------------- UNQUOTE -------------------- ----------

 Exercise ---------- 

This exercise builds up an unconscious pattern for confidence. One of the biggest problems with self confidence is that people spend their time trying to be less uncomfortable in a situation, or less nervous.  Getting away from something is hard, and there's no guarantee you'll end up where you want to be. Just like a route map, the exercise lets your mind know where you want to go. Without a clear idea of your destination, you could end up anywhere! Now, for the first confidence model on your list from Tutorial 2, (if there's more than one), read carefully through what you wrote about them until you begin to build up a strong idea of them.  Then, as long as you're somewhere you won't be disturbed for 5 minutes, close your eyes and imagine being with that person in the sort of situation where you admire their confidence. The more relaxed you are, the better this works.  Focus on the way their voice sounds, the way they look, how other people interact with them, the way they stand or sit, their facial expressions, gestures and so on. ________________________TT__________________________ 

  Trainer Tip - Deep Relaxation on Tap Once you have used the Trainer, you will quickly become good at this sort of thing. You can use your model from above with Track 11 from CD1 - 'How to relax when you want to' and powerfully experience the 'Model Your Goal' exercise. ____________________________________________________ -------- Sidebar: If you need help relaxing, why not check out the free hypnosis course at our site: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/learn_hypnosis.html -------- Once you've got a good imagination of that person in your mind, then imagine merging with them, or drifting into them.  Imagine what it's like to be that person, seeing how others react to you, how they look at you, how they talk to you, how it feels to be that person Some people find this very easy, others take longer to become good at it. However, it is worth the effort - successful people are naturally good at this type of imaginative exercise - it's an essential ingredient for success. The Self Confidence Trainer contains audio sessions leading you through this type of exercise if you're finding it difficult. Although this may seem very simple, it is startlingly effective. If you can ride a bike, you may remember a time when it was very hard to do. Then all of a sudden, it became easy. After that, even if you haven't ridden a bike for years, you can hop back on one and off you go! -------------------------------------------------- 

An Important Note on The 'Unconscious Mind' -------------------------------------------------- 

Throughout this course, I will be talking about 'unconscious learning'. If you're not familiar with the term, it may sound a little strange. It's really just psychology 'shorthand' for non-intellectual learning - learning by experience is an example. It's this type of learning that makes all the difference to self confidence. The difficulty is that a lack of self confidence often stops you from having the sort of experience that would teach you what you want to learn. This is why we use hypnotic sessions on the Self Confidence Trainer. They can teach you in this way without you having to go into the situation itself. They act as a 'bridge' to get you there. The other part of long-term self confidence is the thinking aspect. If you don't take care of this, negative thought patterns can erode your confidence over time, or even cause you to miss out on the confidence boost that can come from an achievement. ________________________TT__________________________ 

  Trainer Tip - Converting Experience Into Confidence To take care of the 'thinking' aspect of self confidence, the Trainer includes a whole section called 'Thinking Confidently' - Track 7, CD1. This includes a section on 'Converting' - ensuring you get a good strong boost in confidence and self esteem from your achievements. ____________________________________________________ 

This is how this exercise works. By imaginative rehearsal, you teach your mind to perform the skill unconsciously. So, just like with riding a bike, confidence becomes effortless

. ________________________TT__________________________ 

 Trainer Tip  - Confidence For Stressful Events There is a session on the Self Confidence Trainer that is perfectly suited to making you feel better about stressful events like public speaking. You'll find it on CD2, Track 4. Track 1 on CD2 is also excellent preparation as it gives you a 'trigger' to use to make yourself feel more confident when 'in the thick of things'!

 ____________________________________________________ 

Important Note: Some people worry that if they're copying someone else, they're not being themselves.  Well, guess how confident people got that way?  They learnt it somewhere!  Usually this is by copying other people unconsciously while growing up, be it their parents or peers. This is partially how we form our personalities - by 'trying things on' and keeping the things we like. You can do this exercise throughout this week. The more you do it, the easier it will become and the greater the results will be.  Keep at it! ------------------- One last tip for keeping your confidence is to surround yourself with optimistic, positive people and ideas. You can't expect to be at your best if people around you are always bringing you down. This doesn't mean I advocate dumping your less upbeat friends of course, just to be aware of the effect that others can have on you. And you won't find anything more motivational and inspiring than the Uncommon Knowledge newsletter. It only comes once a quarter at the moment, but I think it's really worth the wait.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Huggles }}}}}}}}}}}}}

Be Positive,

callie

 To subscribe, go to: http://www.uncommon-knowledge.co.uk/newsletter.html We'll keep your email address private and you can unsubscribe any time you want, (although we have no idea why you would! :-)

 ************************* See you next week for Tutorial 4 - Utilization of your new skills Best Wishes Roger Elliott http://www.self-confidence.co.uk

    Carrying emotional baggage from a past relationship, or from a culmination of past relationships, can be likened to someone who over-packs for a relaxing vacation in Hawaii. Does it make sense for that person to pack his flannel jacket, heavy boots and work files alongside his swim trunks and sunscreen? This over-packing mentality only makes the suitcase heavier and the paperwork defeats the intent of a relaxing vacation. Packing along your emotional baggage from a past relationship only makes your heart heavier and defeats the purpose of starting over with someone new. Yet the majority of us continue to do this anyhow…
 
    When you carry your emotional baggage from one relationship to another, you’re continuously sabotaging the possibility of developing a healthy new relationship. You are already putting a prospective partner at a disadvantage. When you present yourself as “damaged goods,” you might as well have a billboard on your head that screams “Please be the one to fix me!” But any sane and stable man or woman in the dating game doesn’t want a partner who puts pressure on them to be a Mr. or Mrs. Fix-it – they want a partner who is capable of fixing themselves. A brand new relationship deserves to start anew on a clean slate, and nobody should be punished for crimes they didn’t commit and for your own consequential insecurities

1. The Anatomy of Emotional Baggage
   What does emotional baggage look like?
   You Don’t Open Up: You feel so emotionally scarred and vulnerable to hurt that you’re scared to open up to anyone, even when your new partner offers you a supportive and loving environment for you to do so. With this behavior, you shut off all possibilities of a healthy relationship because of pre-conceived, and probably untrue, notions.
   Your Actions Don’t Speak Louder than Your Words: You may tell your new partner how much you admire them or love them, and then you do everything in your power to disprove that with mean, condescending or other hurtful behavior. You might do this as a sort of defense mechanism – you hurt them before you get hurt.
   You Test Your New Significant Other: As a way to determine where you stand in a new relationship, you test them. Maybe you try to “catch” them doing something or maybe you threaten to break up with them every other day. Testing your partner, especially if they’re good to you, will push them away faster than you can blink an eye.
2. You Carry Around These Common Stereotypes and Hang-Ups: If all your boyfriends have cheated on you, you may assume that all men cheat. If your ex-wife controlled you, you may assume that all women are control freaks. But in reality, not all men (and women) cheat and not all women (and men) are controlling. Depending on what kind of situations you were a part of in the past, you may also have the following hang-ups: you aren’t worthy of being loved; you aren’t attractive enough; you have nothing to offer; you’ll never fully satisfy someone; you’ll never find someone you’ll like; you’ll just get dumped again.
   You Don’t Take Responsibility for Your Shortcomings or Mistakes: You blame your previous partners for the demise of the relationships and for everything bad thing that happened. When you refuse to take any of the responsibility or blame, you are only cultivating a victim mentality, which is the ultimate kind of emotional baggage.
3. There’s a good chance that out of the millions of people in the world, you aren’t the only one who has ever been hurt in a relationship. Hurt and heartache – whether it be hurtful words spoken, emotional or physical unavailability, cheating or betrayal of another kind, or abuse – are usually commonplace in failed relationships, or they wouldn’t have ultimately failed. It’s perfectly normal to be negatively affected by destructive relationships. Sometimes bad situations are life-altering. But when you experience these kinds of situations and end the relationship, you only have two choices: you digest what happened, deal with it by yourself or with help and move on. Or, you don’t. If you choose the latter, you’re simultaneously choosing to sabotage your own future happiness.
   The bottom line is that emotional baggage weighs you down. Try to start looking at past relationship baggage as life experiences that will help you choose better people and be better yourself, rather than letting your baggage dictate and poison your future relationships.

February 27, 2006

Is Fibromyalgia A Disease, A Collection Of Symptoms Or Is It All In Your Head? 
by Terry McDermott

For weeks you have been aching from head to foot. You have no energy, you can't 
concentrate and you can't remember the last time you got a good night's sleep. 
You have been to the doctor a few times already and all he can tell you is what 
you DON'T have. You have read about fibromyalgia and even talked to others that 
have been diagnosed with the disease. Yet, so far, no one can tell you whether 
you have it or not? Sound familiar? 

Well, welcome to the world of fibromyalgia diagnostics. It is bad enough that 
there is no cure or significantly effective treatment for this condition, but it 
is even more frustrating when it takes so long for anyone to tell you that the 
problems you are having are caused by fibromyalgia. 

There is no debate as to the validity of fibromyalgia as a disease. In fact, the 
World Health Organization has recognized the disease for many years. It is the 
diagnosis that is debatable. 

Fibromyalgia is a very confusing and misunderstood condition. It has been known 
by many different names for well over a century but was not termed 
"fibromyalgia" until the 1970's. The term is derived from the actual experience 
of the condition. "Fibro" - which represents the fibrous tissues affected (i.e. 
ligaments and tendons); "Myo" - representing the muscular system; and "Algia" - 
meaning "pain," which is the dominant manifestation of this disease. 
Essentially, fibromyalgia means being in pain almost everywhere. 

Fibromyalgia must be diagnosed through a process of elimination. In other words, 
before a complaint can be labeled fibromyalgia, it must first be determined that 
there is not some other cause. If your appendix is inflamed, you have 
appendicitis. If you fall and bang your head a CT scan will indicate if you have 
a concussion. But if you ache all over and suffer from chronic fatigue for 
months on end, have trouble focusing and struggle with anxiety and depression, 
it must first be determined what you DON'T have rather than what you DO have. 
Because if you have fibromyalgia, there is no test that will indicate that you 
have it. 

In other words, diagnosing fibromyalgia is difficult. 

Full Story: http://www.dailyindia.com/show/4221.php